taraje.com

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Work
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Work is work. I do not know what that means, but I hear people say it all the time. I have been working as a Personal Trainer for two months now, and I have taken two days off. The first few weeks have been a grind to build up clientèle, but I am starting to reach my goals.

In addition I have some clients whom I can really help, and that is satisfying in and of itself. The long hours have worn on me from day to day. I started to miss workouts and practices this week. I had thoughts of fighting soon, but I am not sure if I will be able.

I have to prioritize day to day, and if it comes down to choosing between my job and judo, at this point I have to choose the job. As you can see I have not written on taraje.com in over two weeks. If I have any aspirations of continuing to play judo in the long term, I need to get my financial life in order right now.

I am still undecided about fighting this year, but I have decided that now that Ugly Judo 101: Morote Gari has undergone its first release, I am ready to get Ugly Judo 102: Kata Garuma shot and released ASAP. The Kata Garuma Doctor is coming soon.

I guess these decisions are a part of the Post Olympic Depression recovery process. I have a routine, rather, an area to focus my energies, and I am doing well. I have to admit though, I am still not quite sure where I am headed, and at times, when I take a moment to reflect, I am a bit unfulfilled.

Don’t get me wrong, I am happy. Things are changing for me, which is exciting, and I enjoy my day to day for the most part. I am starting to live by my ideals again, and I only have time with my Henn once a week, and for not nearly as much time as I used to.

But I still wonder when things will simplify themselves again. I’ve got bills to pay now. I did last year as well, but for some reason it seemed so much less daunting when I had the Games to look forward to. I knew everything would be fine. Now I only look forward to the point that I will be able to buy furniture, get back to school and put some money away. Then what???

I need more. I crave for comfort and I am chasing it. I wonder if when I reach these goals, will it be enough.

Note: Last week my eldest sister Kinanda was admitted to the NYS Bar. Congratulations Kinanda.

Watchout! Ive got a lawyer on call now!

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Personal
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I am damaged. I have been playing the dating game for a few months now and I have to say it is daunting. I was far less judgmental and unforgiving when I was a younger, (21 or so). I was so amiable and indifferent. Now I see there are certain things I just cannot accept from a woman, and my standards are pretty high for me to take anyone seriously.

In addition to how I have matured and changed post relationship, the Olympics has this wonderful way of instilling a ridiculous level of confidence in one, partly because you now have a reason everyone accepts and partly through the complete Olympic experience. It happened to me after I made my first team. It was so much more extreme then because of my young age, and I didn’t notice it until years later. But now, it is quite obvious and so amusing.

I maintain that EVERYONE is attracted to a confident individual, whether it be through love or hate, everyone is attracted and has some usually strong feelings about said individual. Look at Kanye West… Wouldn’t you agree?

I enjoy both the love and the hate. Just my rant for the day.

P.S. If you haven’t yet, grab your copy of Beyond The Rings to take a look at what it takes to make an Olympic Team and how it affects your life off the mat.

This entry was posted on Thursday, April 2nd, 2009 at 12:05 pm and is filed under Blogroll. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.